My gorgeous and talented friend Leigh gave me a little notebook that I keep in my purse. I use it to write down titles of books and movies I come across, grocery lists, and random bits of conversation that I want to remember. I was just going through it and found some random notes with absolutely no context AT ALL.

• Interpretive cave tap isn’t something just everyone can pull off.
• It’s not like you can soft-shoe in a cave.
• That’s a go-to-hell Mennonite shed with nice shangles.
• She’s common as pig tracks.
• “Think of it as reupholstering. Your face is like a sofa. Every twenty years or  so it gets worn from too many people sitting on it.” (Note: I believe that might be from an Elizabeth Berg novel.)
• Definitely use grommets.
• Tell him how the cow ate the cabbage.
• Then I am a liar and you are a pretty little girl.
• Plow behind a willing mule.
• Gassy goblins
• “I’m not your cleaning-up monkey.”
• “I think in this case the point IS mute because you aren’t listening to me.”
• The one about how he beats his meat to make his chili
• Snot-slinging drunk
• Drunk as Moody’s goose

I think that’s a novel right there.