Normally some ridiculous crack like this from Michelle Bachmann would bounce right off me, but I’m in a mood today. She was down in Florida and made some lame ass joke about Hurricane Irene and the East Coast earthquake being the manifestation of God’s pissed-offedness at us and at politicians.
You know what? It’s not funny. I don’t care that she didn’t mean it. I doubt she really believes that. She was trying to make a joke and it fell flat and people like me get to make fun of it. But it happens that today is the sixth anniversary of The Storm That Shall Not Be Named, and I’m a little touchy about natural disasters.
I hope that Candidate Bachmann never has to wait two weeks to speak with her family because all means of communication other than two tin cans linked with twine are down. I hope she never has to evacuate a barrier island. I hope she doesn’t have to decide what to do with her pets because storm shelters don’t allow animals. I hope she never has to deal with chronic illness from trying to clean unholy black mold out of her home after it’s been flooded for a month. I hope no one she knows ever dies in a shelter and is pushed against the wall and covered up with a blanket because there’s nothing else to do with the body. I hope she never has to know what it’s like to move into a house that finally got built four years after a storm only to find out the building materials used are so toxic, she’d be better off living under a bridge.
Most of all, I wish public figures would stop acting as if they are the only ones with direct lines to God. If you want to invoke God in your candidacy, fine. But do it by actions and not words. I happen to think being religious is like being a lady: if you really are, you don’t need to spend all your time trying to convince me of it. If God speaks to anyone, he speaks to all of us. Equally.
I know each time I check the news today there will be some piece about whether or not she was serious about what she said yesterday, and I’ll get pissed off all over again. The joke fell flat because it was too close to home. It was too easy to believe she wasn’t really joking. I mean, granted, she seems to have all the sense of humor of a grain sack, but she also really seems to believe that God is weak, so out of touch, that he has to resort to parlor tricks to get our attention. And that is not the religion I want in my White House.